From the General to the Specific
Let’s talk specific rather than general. It’s very common for writers to pen something like:
Jen was very bossy. She was always telling her co-workers what to do. Even with her family, nothing got done unless she okayed it.
Not the end of the world as writing goes, either good or bad. But weak, I think. First of all, it has the air of telling the reader what to think about the character (which is bossy in and of itself) and no, following it up with corroborative examples from the office and home don’t make it less tell.
Now, if Jen is a very minor character, then I’d let it go. You presumably want Jen for some limited purpose which, once achieved, she will drop off the literary cliff into oblivion. If that’s the case, the example paragraph might work.
But if she is more major, then starting off with this sort of general descriptor doesn’t work as well.
Let’s do the scene again.
“No, not there.” Jen moved the vase to the edge of the table.
“But it might tip over,” Clark objected.
“Nonsense. It balances things much better.”
“But I want Lilly to see them as soon as she comes in.”
“She can see them fine from here,” Jen held the vase firmly in place.
So, here we see Jen do something specific. The word ‘bossy’ doesn’t get mentioned but we get the message. And in a way which is more vivid and therefore more likely to stick in the readers’ mind.
This specific approach has other advantages. It allows the reader to come to his own conclusion about Jen’s personality and the act of doing so involves and commits him more to your story. You allow him to make an emotional investment in the character.
This applies in many places
This specific first approach works in many venues. Here are a couple of examples.
|The mountains were beautiful||One peak, the tallest, had caught the sun on its tip and was holding it there, balanced, as if a daily trophy.|
|The man was old||His hands. Not claws exactly. But not not. He shuffled over to pick up the glass.|
Again, don’t need to do this for absolutely everything. But if there are points which you’d like the reader to remember, go with a specific example from which the reader can generalize to the conclusion you’re aiming for.
Do I hear, “Doesn’t this take longer?”
Yes, the old bugaboo. It does take longer to write and takes more work. But is your aim to write the fastest and easiest piece of literature known to man (sic)? Of course not. That’s writing jingles. Instead, you want to use every trick you can to engage the reader so that no matter how long you take, he is with you all the way.