I’m Getting Awful Feedback—I Guess I Can’t Write

Okay, first, take a deep breath. Allowing others to read your writing is putting yourself on the line. It feels like a personal attack when you don’t get the kind of feedback you hoped for. And, if you are anything like me, you can’t get it out of your head, along with the conviction that this is irrefutable proof that you can’t write.

The curse of artistic endeavors is that, to create, you need to be sensitive, open to the world, and responsive to it. So your defenses can’t be up and thus you are more vulnerable to negative comments. But this is the time to let your analytic and logical left brain take over from your emotional and creative right brain.

Work through the follow steps to help your left brain kick in. The sooner the better.

Dealing with negative feedback

Step 1. Again, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. No, really do it.

Step 2. Set aside time for these steps—on paper or screen. Don’t just think the answers—that’ll just keep the judgments swirling around uncontrollably.

Step 3. Reread the comments or if the feedback was oral, write down what you remember. If you can’t bring yourself to do it right now, put the piece away for a day or so (no longer). But I’d try—otherwise, it just keeps festering.

Step 4. Pick the comment which hurts the most and answer:

• Does it say that you can never be a writer or does it simply make an observation about your piece? One you are hurt by but still, probably about the piece, not you.
• Can you reframe the statement as disappointing rather than world-ending? You’d hoped for a more positive reaction but didn’t get it. Remember, it’s about the piece, not you.
• If you changed your story to accommodate this comment, would the piece be better for it? An acceptable answer is ‘no’ but articulate the reasons—don’t just react viscerally. Note: this is different from whether you have the skills to make the change.
• If the change would help, do you know how to make it? If not, where could you get help to master this skill?
• Make a plan (dates and specific actions, please) to make the change/get the help.
• Take the next worst comment and repeat.

These steps will help slow things down enough to let your analytic side take over. If you work through the two or three comments that really hurt, you will usually find that you can move things from I know I’ll never be a writer to There are some things I can improve in the story.

When this won’t work

This process won’t work if the feedback comes from a person or persons who have a nasty streak. Knowing that this is a vulnerable spot, they go in for the kill. You know who they are.

Stop asking them for feedback, no matter how good their writing is. They are not going to help you to advance.

Does that mean you can’t write?

I know that this still leaves the question hanging—can I write? Let me put your heart at ease. Everybody has a story to tell and everybody can write if they are serious about mastering the craft and learn to manage the human side of writing (this post being a prime example).

Will you be Shakespeare or even a best seller? Don’t know. But you can write.