How to Write an Action Scene

action

How to Write an Action Scene

A high-speed, stunt-filled incident isn’t the only thing which qualifies as an action scene. It can be any point in the plot where you want the tension to ratchet up by way of some physical acts. A bitter argument between two characters might be tense but would not typically be seen as action unless/until one socks the other and they get into a punching/hitting fight.

But whether it’s getting out of the wizard’s lair or the hero fleeing from mafia types, you want your reader to be right with your protagonist, weaving and dodging with him towards his goal. The story itself will provide some of the fascination for the reader but there are some quite mechanical ways to heighten the enjoyment of your scene.

Ways to improve an action scene

I’m going to discuss a couple but I can’t emphasize enough that these techniques should be considered after you have written the scene. Don’t start writing with thoughts like “Right—short sentences.” If you do, you risk flattening your writing by focusing on following the rules rather than creating excitement.

Let the creative side run free and after the episode is written, consider the following.

Short sentences

Not: She was stymied by the locked door and didn’t know what to do.

Rather: The door was locked. She was stymied. What to do?

As much as possible, you want to create a kind of staccato effect in your writing. Sentences with more connecting words (e.g. and) are better in more reflective moments.

Action words

Obvious, but sometimes forgotten in the heat of the writing.

Not: She was totally unprepared by the hit of a fist on the side of her head.

Rather: His fist hit on the side of her head.

I think the ‘totally unprepared’ was intended to convey shock or surprise. You could add an adverb like ‘suddenly’ but I have already expressed my views on the overuse of adverbs. I would prefer an action like ‘She staggered.’

Limit internal dialogue

Think about when you have been in an urgent situation—your son has fallen down the stairs or you are in a car accident. Do you think, “Oh my god, what should I do?” Well, you might if you were Hamlet or some other famous ditherer. But more likely, you’d spring into action—checking for injury, calling 911, etc. Keep this in mind when writing these types of events. The characters are generally doing and not thinking about it.

If you want them to react, do it after the action is completed, for good or ill, not during.

Terse dialogue

In a TV show I saw, the spaceship was about to crash land and the pilot yells, “Lower the screens so I can see better.”

First of all this is a bit of an AYKB or an As-You-Know-Bob piece of dialogue intended to tell the reader something that all the characters in the scene already know. In our example, wouldn’t any crew worth its salt already know why the pilot needs the shields down even if you, the reader, may not?

In an emergency situation, the pilot is more likely to yell, “Lower the shields!”

This might seem like a niggle. But you need to remember that if you want your reader to feel the tension of the scene, the characters need to act tense. And this is often communicated through terse dialogue.

Alls to say, remember that people in urgent situations don’t use full sentences, don’t observe social niceties like please and thank you and don’t provide onlookers with background information. Neither should your characters.

Enhancing Character Growth

growth

Enhancing Character Growth

Character growth—the Holy Grail of writing. Even in a largely plot-driven narrative, novels which also depict their characters evolving add a richness and depth to the story.

I’m not a big fan of knowing exactly how your protagonist will develop. Oh, you might have a vague idea—a story of redemption, for example. But I think it works best if you start with an opening scene—depicting a greedy and callous man, for example—and letting things flow from there.

But you knew that I’d say that, didn’t you, since I generally advocate a haphazard approach to writing?

So, it follows that enhancing character growth is a post-first draft activity. Naturally, you’ve already spent a good deal of time developing and growing your character while writing the novel. This post helps you enhance or highlight the development to strengthen the story.

Character growth questions

Isolate the scenes where your target character appears. I often create separate file with them. Then, answer these questions:

How do you feel about the protagonist?

Really, do you like him? Or, with a really dark character, do you want him to get his comeuppance? Because if you don’t care, how will readers? There has to be enough, even from the beginning, to keep the reader hanging in. If you don’t glom onto the protagonist (can we call him Ben to save me typing?) fairly early, identify scenes which would do this.

What are the critical scenes where Ben grows?

Is this the way you want him to grow?

  • If so, are there any scenes which need to be strengthened?
  • If not, how would you like Ben to grow?
  • Identify some new scenes which might show the intent better.

Is the growth credible?

If Ben goes from crotchety old man to the life of the party in six pages, we have a problem.

  • Do the scenes transition Ben gradually to the desired end state?
  • Does each move build on what came before? Say Ben rescues a puppy (I’m not saying it’s a good novel). If this scene happens early on, Ben might hide his good deed because he thinks it shows weakness. The next spurt of growth needs to develop naturally from that point. He might buy better food for the dog, while complaining about the price and threatening to send him to the pound.
  • What scenes do you need to add or modify so that the evolution is credible?

Is the growth consistent?

Surprisingly, the answer to this question can often be ‘no’ when you read just Ben’s scenes. You may need him to further the plot by punching a cop which doesn’t jive with where he is in his personal growth. If you allow the plot to dominate, you damage the credibility of Ben’s journey of self-discovery because he’ll be seen to be jumping back and forth erratically.

Although this isn’t easy, identify the scenes where Ben’s actions aren’t consistent with his personal growth and figure out how to change the scenes to credibly accommodate both plot and character development.

You can follow this procedure for any character, but it’s a lot of work so I usually stick to the protagonist and characters whose essence eludes me at the moment.

This process may seem a bit mechanical and honestly, it is. But remember, this is not about creating the character. That is all about imagination and inspiration. This is enhancing what you’ve written to strengthen your intent.

How to Do a Substantive Edit

substantive

How to Do a Substantive Edit

Okay, so when are we doing a substantive edit?

  • In the middle of the writing
  • As I am writing
  • When the first draft is finished

 Gold star if you picked (c). Your reward is to continue reading. For you others, remedial reading of Should I Edit as I Go? and Copy Editing and Substantive.

Okay, so now we get into the guts or DNA of your novel.

Steps to doing a substantive edit

Step 1. Read the novel from start to finish.

  • Do not make any corrections/changes while reading. I know this is killing but remember you are doing a substantive edit, not copyediting.
  • Do read it as close to continuously as you can to get the full sweep of the story.

Step 2. Write down what you observed

Some questions which might help:

  • Does the novel move at the pace I want? Are there any places where it slows down too much? Or where I skipped over something which needs more elaboration?
  • Does your protagonist change and grow? This is not about him doing a lot of different things; this is about him learning and changing emotionally as a result. In an upcoming post, I’ll go into more detail on this one.
  • Does the ending feel satisfying? If it doesn’t to you, it probably won’t to your reader. ‘Satisfying’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘happy.’ Satisfying means that the ending flows in an emotionally logical (is that an oxymoron?) way from the story.
  • Is the theme represented strongly enough? You may have a theme in mind but the novel needs to show more than a couple of indications of it.

Step 3. Decide what needs to be changed

  • Make a list. Strengthen Dylan’s motivation for the stabbing; cut down the number of chase scenes; reinforce the theme with scenes which illustrate it; reshape the ending so it links better to the story.
  • Focus on what the novel needs, not whether or not you know how to make the fix.
  • Sometimes, just wrestling with a particular scene will help you find a way forward.
  • It can come down to craft —I don’t know how to show his determination; I want the ending but I don’t know how to make the prior events flow inevitably to it. If so, then go to writing blogs (like mine—ADV), work with a writing teacher, or ask fellow writers. Craft is learnable and teachable.

Don’t get discouraged

Step 3 may well generate a long list. It might feel daunting or as if you didn’t do it right the first time. Nothing can be further from the truth. Editing of all kinds is the lot of good writers. Don’t compare the present state of your manuscript with your favorite author’s completed novel. It’s apples and oranges.  Your author’s work has undoubtedly gone through the same process as advocated here. That’s why it reads so well and flows so beautifully. And yours can, too.

How Copyediting Helps Your Writing Quality

Copyediting

How Copyediting Helps Your Writing Quality

You do copyediting after you’ve finished a piece. No, there’s no problem if you add the occasional word or take one out if you are rereading the piece. But the picky, close scrutiny of the words is best left to after the piece is complete. Otherwise, it will run the risk of derailing your creative process as discussed in another post.

But copyediting can help your writing be tighter, more focused and even more interesting. In this post (which is a little longer than usual), I want to show how copyediting can help the quality of your writing.

Original piece

This is the passage I originally wrote for a scene in my novel Scam!

Now that they are around the dinner table, Eleanor is tempted to let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Steve finally cuts the tension. “Well, quite the scene.”

“It’s just like him—” Patsy begins.

“That’s enough,” says Eleanor sharply. “We have a guest—we don’t air our dirty laundry in front of guests.”

“What, Kim?” Steve asks. “She’s not a guest. She’s practically family.”

Eleanor shakes her head. “Nevertheless. I want everyone to keep a civil tongue in their heads. Patsy, will you help me bring in the coffee?”

Eleanor and Patsy work in silence in the kitchen. But she remembers where everything is and in short order the cups and cream are on a tray.

“You take that in and I’ll bring the coffee in when it’s done,” Eleanor directs Patsy.

So not that awful, don’t you think? This is 133 words.

Finished piece

Now compare the previous piece with how it ended up.

Around the dinner table, Eleanor is tempted to let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Steve finally cuts the tension. “Well, quite the scene.”

“It’s just like him—” Patsy begins.

“That’s enough,” says Eleanor sharply. “We have a guest—we don’t air our dirty laundry.”

“What, Kim?” Steve asks. “She’s practically family.”

“Nevertheless. I want everyone to keep a civil tongue. Patsy, will you help me bring in the coffee?”

They work in silence in the kitchen. But she remembers where everything is and in short order the cups and cream are on a tray.

“You take that in and I’ll bring the coffee,” Eleanor directs Patsy.

This version, now 108 words, reads a little more smoothly and more importantly, is more focused on the action. You might think that the changes don’t make an earth-shattering difference and you would be right. But over the course of the novel, this kind of cleaning up and focusing can make the plot move forward faster and more effortlessly.

Copyediting the piece

This is the original passage with the edits.

Now that they are around the dinner table, Eleanor is tempted to let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Steve finally cuts the tension. “Well, quite the scene.”

“It’s just like him—” Patsy begins.

“That’s enough,” says Eleanor sharply. “We have a guest—we don’t air our dirty laundry in front of guests.”

“What, Kim?” Steve asks. “She’s not a guest. She’s practically family.”

Eleanor shakes her head. “Nevertheless. I want everyone to keep a civil tongue in their heads. Patsy, will you help me bring in the coffee?”

Eleanor and Patsy they work in silence in the kitchen. But she remembers where everything is and in short order the cups and cream are on a tray.

“You take that in and I’ll bring the coffee in when it’s done,” Eleanor directs Patsy.

It may be surprising that so many words were chopped out. But extraneous words and thoughts (when it’s done) just clog up the reading. Keep your reader focused on what you are really writing about.

 

So copyediting can and should be about punctuation, missed and extra words, misspellings, and other annoyances that might kick your reader out of your continuous dream. But it can also up the overall quality of the writing. And is worth doing.

 

Copy Editing and Substantive

copy

Copy Editing and Substantive

Okay, I’m not exactly saying that this will be a boring post but we do need to make sure we are using the terms in the same way. So grit your teeth and read on.

Definitions

There are various definitions of these terms, all very similar but with enough differences to murk things up. So here are my interpretations:

Copy editing: Fact checking, spell check, punctuation, grammar, tense consistency, missing words, etc. It is the more mechanical of the two but still valuable to avoid kicking your reader out of the continuous dream. I don’t want to be caught up short in my reading by affect? Shouldn’t that be effect?

Substantive editing: looks at the whole sweep of the novel. Themes, character growth, forward action, plausibility, even missed opportunities. All the big things which make your novel unique.

Copy editing example

This is pretty easy although time consuming. Here’s the original piece, followed by the copy editing in BOLD.

I turned quickly. “What are you doing here?” I ask.

She shrugs. “You know I compliment you, Tom.

“Helen, being with you is like living on top of an earthquake.”

Copy edit

I turned [rest of passage in present tense] quickly. “What are you doing here?” I ask.

She shrugs. “You know I compliment [complement or complete] you, Tom.”

“Helen [wasn’t her name Jennifer?], being with you is like living on top of an earthquake [volcano].”

You might think that getting the name wrong of the love (sic) interest wouldn’t happen but it can if half-way though you decide to change her name and don’t catch all the switches.

See, useful and necessary.

Substantive editing example

As the whole novel is covered in a substantive edit, you’ll need to take my word for it that the comments make sense.

Original passage

“No, I won’t do it!” Bryan brought his fist down on the table.

“Hon, you’ve got to! Please, for my sake.” Hannah said.

“Not even for you, Hannah. No.”

Editor’s comments

We have seen this argument a couple of times before. I think Bryan’s intransigence has already been established. Is anything going to change? If so, it is an opportunity for Bryan’s growth as a character. If not, then somebody needs to do something to move the action forward. It might be realistic in real life for couples to be stuck in repetitive fighting but in a novel, some resolution or movement is necessary to keep the reader reading.

A substantive edit is focused on making the novel the best it can be. Its intent should not be to change its direction or theme (unless of course, you are doing your own editing, in which case, go for it).

When to edit

This is probably the most important bit. As I discussed in the previous post on editing as you go, I think it helps the quality of your writing and makes it less likely that you will be stalled or taken off track to do all editing after you have finished a first draft.

Naturally, I’m not saying you should continue down a path you’re convinced isn’t working, but if it is just a suspicion or worry, I’d stick with the course you’re on and see how you feel once you read the whole thing.

So, hope you’re still awake. Now onto the event more exciting: How copywriting can help the quality of your writing. Stick with this—you do actually need to know this stuff.