How to Write an Action Scene
A high-speed, stunt-filled incident isn’t the only thing which qualifies as an action scene. It can be any point in the plot where you want the tension to ratchet up by way of some physical acts. A bitter argument between two characters might be tense but would not typically be seen as action unless/until one socks the other and they get into a punching/hitting fight.
But whether it’s getting out of the wizard’s lair or the hero fleeing from mafia types, you want your reader to be right with your protagonist, weaving and dodging with him towards his goal. The story itself will provide some of the fascination for the reader but there are some quite mechanical ways to heighten the enjoyment of your scene.
Ways to improve an action scene
I’m going to discuss a couple but I can’t emphasize enough that these techniques should be considered after you have written the scene. Don’t start writing with thoughts like “Right—short sentences.” If you do, you risk flattening your writing by focusing on following the rules rather than creating excitement.
Let the creative side run free and after the episode is written, consider the following.
Short sentences
Not: She was stymied by the locked door and didn’t know what to do.
Rather: The door was locked. She was stymied. What to do?
As much as possible, you want to create a kind of staccato effect in your writing. Sentences with more connecting words (e.g. and) are better in more reflective moments.
Action words
Obvious, but sometimes forgotten in the heat of the writing.
Not: She was totally unprepared by the hit of a fist on the side of her head.
Rather: His fist hit on the side of her head.
I think the ‘totally unprepared’ was intended to convey shock or surprise. You could add an adverb like ‘suddenly’ but I have already expressed my views on the overuse of adverbs. I would prefer an action like ‘She staggered.’
Limit internal dialogue
Think about when you have been in an urgent situation—your son has fallen down the stairs or you are in a car accident. Do you think, “Oh my god, what should I do?” Well, you might if you were Hamlet or some other famous ditherer. But more likely, you’d spring into action—checking for injury, calling 911, etc. Keep this in mind when writing these types of events. The characters are generally doing and not thinking about it.
If you want them to react, do it after the action is completed, for good or ill, not during.
Terse dialogue
In a TV show I saw, the spaceship was about to crash land and the pilot yells, “Lower the screens so I can see better.”
First of all this is a bit of an AYKB or an As-You-Know-Bob piece of dialogue intended to tell the reader something that all the characters in the scene already know. In our example, wouldn’t any crew worth its salt already know why the pilot needs the shields down even if you, the reader, may not?
In an emergency situation, the pilot is more likely to yell, “Lower the shields!”
This might seem like a niggle. But you need to remember that if you want your reader to feel the tension of the scene, the characters need to act tense. And this is often communicated through terse dialogue.
Alls to say, remember that people in urgent situations don’t use full sentences, don’t observe social niceties like please and thank you and don’t provide onlookers with background information. Neither should your characters.
