How to Write an Action Scene

A high-speed, stunt-filled incident isn’t the only thing which qualifies as an action scene. It can be any point in the plot where you want the tension to ratchet up by way of some physical acts. A bitter argument between two characters might be tense but would not typically be seen as action unless/until one socks the other and they get into a punching/hitting fight.

But whether it’s getting out of the wizard’s lair or the hero fleeing from mafia types, you want your reader to be right with your protagonist, weaving and dodging with him towards his goal. The story itself will provide some of the fascination for the reader but there are some quite mechanical ways to heighten the enjoyment of your scene.

Ways to improve an action scene

I’m going to discuss a couple but I can’t emphasize enough that these techniques should be considered after you have written the scene. Don’t start writing with thoughts like “Right—short sentences.” If you do, you risk flattening your writing by focusing on following the rules rather than creating excitement.

Let the creative side run free and after the episode is written, consider the following.

Short sentences

Not: She was stymied by the locked door and didn’t know what to do.

Rather: The door was locked. She was stymied. What to do?

As much as possible, you want to create a kind of staccato effect in your writing. Sentences with more connecting words (e.g. and) are better in more reflective moments.

Action words

Obvious, but sometimes forgotten in the heat of the writing.

Not: She was totally unprepared by the hit of a fist on the side of her head.

Rather: His fist hit on the side of her head.

I think the ‘totally unprepared’ was intended to convey shock or surprise. You could add an adverb like ‘suddenly’ but I have already expressed my views on the overuse of adverbs. I would prefer an action like ‘She staggered.’

Limit internal dialogue

Think about when you have been in an urgent situation—your son has fallen down the stairs or you are in a car accident. Do you think, “Oh my god, what should I do?” Well, you might if you were Hamlet or some other famous ditherer. But more likely, you’d spring into action—checking for injury, calling 911, etc. Keep this in mind when writing these types of events. The characters are generally doing and not thinking about it.

If you want them to react, do it after the action is completed, for good or ill, not during.

Terse dialogue

In a TV show I saw, the spaceship was about to crash land and the pilot yells, “Lower the screens so I can see better.”

First of all this is a bit of an AYKB or an As-You-Know-Bob piece of dialogue intended to tell the reader something that all the characters in the scene already know. In our example, wouldn’t any crew worth its salt already know why the pilot needs the shields down even if you, the reader, may not?

In an emergency situation, the pilot is more likely to yell, “Lower the shields!”

This might seem like a niggle. But you need to remember that if you want your reader to feel the tension of the scene, the characters need to act tense. And this is often communicated through terse dialogue.

Alls to say, remember that people in urgent situations don’t use full sentences, don’t observe social niceties like please and thank you and don’t provide onlookers with background information. Neither should your characters.

Enhancing Character Growth

Character growth—the Holy Grail of writing. Even in a largely plot-driven narrative, novels which also depict their characters evolving add a richness and depth to the story.

I’m not a big fan of knowing exactly how your protagonist will develop. Oh, you might have a vague idea—a story of redemption, for example. But I think it works best if you start with an opening scene—depicting a greedy and callous man, for example—and letting things flow from there.

But you knew that I’d say that, didn’t you, since I generally advocate a haphazard approach to writing?

So, it follows that enhancing character growth is a post-first draft activity. Naturally, you’ve already spent a good deal of time developing and growing your character while writing the novel. This post helps you enhance or highlight the development to strengthen the story.

Character growth questions

Isolate the scenes where your target character appears. I often create separate file with them. Then, answer these questions:

How do you feel about the protagonist?

Really, do you like him? Or, with a really dark character, do you want him to get his comeuppance? Because if you don’t care, how will readers? There has to be enough, even from the beginning, to keep the reader hanging in. If you don’t glom onto the protagonist (can we call him Ben to save me typing?) fairly early, identify scenes which would do this.

What are the critical scenes where Ben grows?

Is this the way you want him to grow?

• If so, are there any scenes which need to be strengthened?
• If not, how would you like Ben to grow?
• Identify some new scenes which might show the intent better.

Is the growth credible?

If Ben goes from crotchety old man to the life of the party in six pages, we have a problem.

• Do the scenes transition Ben gradually to the desired end state?
• Does each move build on what came before? Say Ben rescues a puppy (I’m not saying it’s a good novel). If this scene happens early on, Ben might hide his good deed because he thinks it shows weakness. The next spurt of growth needs to develop naturally from that point. He might buy better food for the dog, while complaining about the price and threatening to send him to the pound.
• What scenes do you need to add or modify so that the evolution is credible?

Is the growth consistent?

Surprisingly, the answer to this question can often be ‘no’ when you read just Ben’s scenes. You may need him to further the plot by punching a cop which doesn’t jive with where he is in his personal growth. If you allow the plot to dominate, you damage the credibility of Ben’s journey of self-discovery because he’ll be seen to be jumping back and forth erratically.

Although this isn’t easy, identify the scenes where Ben’s actions aren’t consistent with his personal growth and figure out how to change the scenes to credibly accommodate both plot and character development.

You can follow this procedure for any character, but it’s a lot of work so I usually stick to the protagonist and characters whose essence eludes me at the moment.

This process may seem a bit mechanical and honestly, it is. But remember, this is not about creating the character. That is all about imagination and inspiration. This is enhancing what you’ve written to strengthen your intent.

How to Tell Whether it’s Being Shown or Told

As I covered in a previous post, Let the Reader Participate in the Story, whether a story is shown or told can make a big difference to the reader’s enjoyment. However, writers often have trouble knowing what mode they’re writing in. So, the post is about telling the difference between show and tell.

Shown or told?

Look at the image at the top of this post. Is the story being shown or told? Obviously what the person is saying is very vivid as the other person can picture it. So that makes it shown, right?

I would say not—one person is telling the story to another other. Shown would be relating it from the point of view (POV) of the woman watching the ship. I think this is telling because the story-teller (blue person on the left) has to infer what the protagonist is thinking and feeling. If told from the protagonist’s POV, the chances of it being shown go up.

Other examples

This is a deceptively simple concept as I think the example above indicates. I realize that not everyone might agree with my take on it and I accept that opinions can differ on the line between the two concepts. Which just shows you how complex this whole thing is. So, let’s try a couple more examples.

Told

The town has never welcomed strangers. Dunno why. Some say it’s the prairie air. Others think that the townspeople have never gotten over that unfortunate hot air balloon invasion of 1984. But fact remains, the municipality of Dunton Heights is only good for those who were born in it.

Does it surprise you that this is that I consider this a tell passage? It is because the reader is told how to think about the town (i.e. unwelcoming). A way to show this might be a scene when a stranger moves into the town.

It should be noted that tell has its place. If this passage were unimportant information that the reader nevertheless needs to know, it’s a good use of tell. In addition, tell does not preclude the author’s voice coming across.

Shown

Ice crunched under Shana’s feet. She closed her eyes against the blowing snow and thought about how difficult everything was. If only she could banish her problems as easily as she could shake off the snowflakes.

Again, perhaps a bit of a surprise as show often uses dialogue. But not necessary. We are being shown what is physically happening around her. Tell would more likely be something like:

Shana loved winter and usually welcomed it. But her problems are not going to melt as easily as a snowfall would.

See, this is pretty tough. The rule of thumb I use: if what I wrote tells the reader what to think about the situation, it’s more likely tell (e.g. the town didn’t welcome strangers). If the writing lets the reader decide what is happening (e.g. ice crunching underfoot suggests winter), then it’s more likely show. But not always. Sorry.